Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The Hotel Enigma

I've just returned from a book tour to promote my new Lady Georgie novel, The Twelve Clues of Christmas. After a week of staying in some very snooty hotels, I am left puzzled about certain things, downright grouchy about others.
1. Why does anyone actually need thirty four pillows on the bed? It seems the more expensive the hotel, the more pillows you get.  And I throw all of them onto a chair except one

2. Why does a hotel that charges several hundred dollars a night put really cheap toilet paper in the bathroom? I can afford Charmin double thick. Surely they can too.It would be suitable if they had designer TP maybe with the hotel crest embossed into it. But I'd be content with something thick enough that it doesn't break to pieces when I try to tear it off.

3. Why can't faucets in hotel bathrooms all work the same way? Why does it take me half an hour to figure out how to turn on the shower, and get hit in the face with icy water in the proecess?

4. Aren't hotel bedrooms supposed to be restful places? Then why put scary pictures on walls, strange pieces of artwork on tables. All I want to do is sleep, not admire art, and a large image of a faceless man staring down at me is not going to help.

5. How can anyone charge fifteen dollars for a continental breakfast without blushing with guilt?  I agree that one has to pay a cook to prepare something, but one croissant and tea surely don't take much preparing, apart from putting it onto a plate.

6.And on the subject of food--why this need to come up with strange, new, untried combinations of flavor. I don't actually want pork cheeks with scallops, or anything with organic striped figs. After a long day grilled cheese and tomato soup sounds good to me.

Do you have any pet hotel beefs? Have you ever found the perfect hotel?


  1. Why does my room need more than one phone, which I will be charged extra to use??? And, if my room faces east then I want the curtains to truly block the incoming light, not leave a narrow gaping slit! (and along those lines, I wish the conveniences (microwave, clock, hairdryer, etc.) had dimmer lights on their clocks and other lights...)

  2. I would like windows that you can open. Air conditioning is all very well, but let's face it, it smells funny half the time and makes intermittent noises all night. Yes, I know, things being how they are half the guests would probably want to jump out, making a dreadful mess on the sidewalk etc. Or bad guys could climb in off the ledge and steal my laptop. But surely the windows could be fixed so they opened three inches.

  3. Most hotel beds are too hard for me. I wish they could all afford to use Sleep Number beds, then everyone could be happy.
    I wish that when a hotel says they are eco-friendly and they won't change your sheets and towels if you place the sign on your bed, that the staff would really follow the rules. Every time I indicate that I don't want my sheets and towels changed daily, they do it anyway.

  4. I just finished reading your latest book--thank you.
    I read the recipe for the plum pudding. There seems to be a lot of similarity to it and the fruitcake that my mom makes from a very old family recipe. Now I'll have to figure out a way to try them both.

  5. The hotel with scary photos on the walls would really bug me--especially if I had my little kids with me. Can you request not to stay at that hotel next time you're in that city?

    I hate it when they charge you extra for wireless internet. It seems like the more you pay for the room, the more likely they are to charge you for it, too. Which makes no sense to me.

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