Born Too Late

I was looking through a fashion magazine yesterday and it was full of advertisements for straightening your hair. This made me realize how unfair life is:

I have the world's straightest hair. All my childhood I longed for curls. in my teens I tried home perms--frizzy disasters. Now I have the money to go to a good hairdresser guess what? The styles are all straight.

This is true in other areas too. Now I can afford to go to good restaurants, I can't eat too much or food that is too rich. The all-you-can-eat buffet which seemed so wonderful when we were young and penniless now has no meaning. I'm actually just paying for a salad.

Now I have no responsibilities for children and pets and could stay out all night, I'm pooped by ten.

Now I can afford clothes, nobody designs clothes for anyone over the age of eighteen. Dresses are either up to my thighs or down to my ankles with no shaping. I have been looking for a good dress to wear out to dinner for ages. There are cocktail dresses and prom dresses but the smart function dress, well cut, good cloth, simply doesn't exist. Neither do the "little women" my mother used to go to who would run her up a stunning dress and charge almost nothing.

I used to envy those international jet setters who were whisked around the world in First Class ease. These days everyone has to endure the long lines at security, taking off shoes, jackets, scarves and being groped, even if they are traveling business or first. Not so much fun. And on the plane those lovely meals have been shrunk to a bag of chex mix.

Have you had similar experiences? Were you also born too late?